When Someone Only Looks For The Worst In You

When people decide to think the worst of you, or draw conclusions, or even assume things they are never really getting the truth. They are just creating a story up in their mind without knowing all the facts or even asking questions. It’s something most people do, and I remember doing this various times in my life. Watching and observing something and assuming the worst, or that I knew what was actually happening and finding out later everything I thought was true was false. We can hurt and damage people by making assumptions or thinking the worst of them.

We base our reality on what we see, and not what is really going on behind the scenes. So we decide that what ever story we can come up with, we should attack another person for some action that may not even be true.

When you’re not involved in someone’s life that is all you can do is assume and make up stories, even the worst ones, and keep them stuck in the past where they have made mistakes and errors. There are always people who look for the worst and weakest spot, and want to get revenge, or hurt you because that is all they know how to do. They don’t think about the consequences of their actions, or how it affects friends, family members, or even co-workers, or neighbors.

Dragging other people in the mud, just because you have a suspicion, can cause drama, and interfere in the progress of others. Sabotaging their lives, because you think you know what is best, or you have to be right, or just have to be in control of the situation.

I learned never assume anything, and never accuse anyone of anything without hearing the facts from a person and seeing they are later true. You can not believe everything people tell you, because it’s not always the truth.

If you want to know something you should just ask a person, not go out of your way to interfere in their lives and cause drama. It’s an attack on you when someone deliberately searches out some way to hurt you, just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Not everyone is a liar, and not everyone needs to be deceptive. You don’t know the motive behind things, and you can even assume that some one is trying to hurt you when they’re not. God chooses the way of peace, and love. If you are choosing the evil path and feel the need to war and destroy other people’s lives because you’re hurting, then you really need to think why you really want to hurt this person deep down inside. Why do you desire them to hurt so bad, because you don’t control your own anger, rage, resentment, and bitterness, or even jealousy. There is no reason to hurt other people, and not everyone is your enemy unless you make them out to be in your own mind. You are your own worst enemy every time you decide to draw conclusions, assume, and project a reality on them that is not truth.

People have a right to be their own person, live their own lives, and have their own privacy without being interrogated, or made to feel they are inadequate because they don’t live the same path as you do, or have the same belief system as you do. Everyone is not out to get you, or harm you, and most of the time you are living in a fear based reality. Afraid of everything and anything. Always seeing everything in a negative light, and never seeing a positive outcome, or response.

This is your state of mind, and not every one else’s. If someone has offended you, you are to walk in love and forgive them, although this may be hard at times. If you’re use to arguing, fighting, and warring with other people then you have a habit of doing so and causing harm to yourself and others around you.

You are in control of your own mind, the thoughts you carry, the stories you tell yourself about yourself, and other people. No one can control them for you. If you are stressing out over matters it is because you choose to focus on that subject and person and won’t let go of it. What ever you’re focusing on in the moment is what you decide is important to be focusing on, when you determine to discipline your thoughts you can quiet your mind, and be stress free. Focusing on the now in the this minute, instead of the past, or the future solves a lot of stress and fear. Fear is an illusion you create yourself by focusing on that fear and blowing it out of proportion. You are focusing on something, and feeling the need to focus on that hours and hours at a time.

Change your thoughts to positive thoughts, you don’t need to live in a fear based reality or a negative one. You understand life differently, and don’t need to hang on to thoughts that are only here for the moment and then pass away. The next moment a new thought comes, or story you create about yourself or someone else. Let if go, and think about something positive, or find an activity, or find some friends to hang out with, or learn to take care of your body, mind, and spirit.

Some of the best positive quotes are online, affirmations, you tube meditations on loving yourself, being stress free, letting go of anger, learning to forgive, and moving on with your life. The more you love yourself the less you need to hurt other people or harm them, and don’t need to fight or have arguments. Arguments and emotional wars, you never win, and you’re only hurting other people in the process. Mind games are not fun, and can cause emotional and psychological damage just because you fail to take responsibility for your own thoughts.

What others say about you, may or may not be true. Whether they are or not, they do not define you, and do not define your future. You are not who other people tell you, you are, but at the same time, what you say to them demonstrates who you are, and what you’re about whether you are harmful or harmless in their lives. You are causing them stress by choosing words that hurt them, and maybe even their close family members as well.

So think about your motives before you put them into action. Sometimes letting go, and being patient people change for the better. People don’t need to be taunted and terrorized for every mistake they make, and they were never meant to be on your course, or live on your timing. It is always God’s timing, God’s divine order, and God’s appointment where ever you are, where ever you go, and who you meet. God is in control of everything in your life, and if you’re hurting, he already knows this, but there are usually lessons you are supposed to be learning for the good of you, and not to harm you. Pain and suffering means someone is stepping in your emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries causing harm.

Some times you can’t stop people from hurting you, or making a mess out of your life due to the fact they are not healthy themselves, making bad choices, and making them out of fear and confusion. Sometimes even out of anger, and resentment, and bitterness. When they do make these bad choices they are damaging your life, and sabotaging it, and interfering, and fortunately it can cause divorce between people, losing children, losing a job, or any other situation or circumstances you’re in at the moment. Is it really worth harming others and yourself just to prove a point, or offend them? How much stress do you think people can handle? How far do you think you should push them to the edge? God chooses the walk of love, compassion, and understanding. No matter what someone has done or hasn’t done, they don’t deserve to have their whole life destroyed because you carry a grudge, or hatred in your heart. No one intentionally tries to hurt you. Some times you get hurt because you hurt yourself with your stories and your lies you tell yourself about them. Some times you even insist it has to be true, and find out its wrong. People are not here to make you feel happy, happiness comes from inside yourself, and not outside of yourself. Others only add to your happiness. Loving yourself takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Even devotion to investing in yourself, to love the person God created you to be, and when you have taken those steps, you don’t need to argue, fight or harm others anymore. You are able to let go of things moment to moment, and not carry tons of garbage around you were never meant to carry.

All rights reserved Hattiemattiemae Spiritweaver February 18, 2013

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